Bill Geist's Zeitgeist

Third Best Airline in the World has One Plane

Which, as CEO David Skillicorn admits, makes it a little easier to focus on customer service.

But...as he also says in this great interview from the BBC, "it costs nothing to smile at people and, actually, good service costs nothing either."

What a concept...

And thanks to my friend Stuart Ellis-Myers for the catch.

Gas Prices Impacting Prostitution

From our friend Cole Carley (Fargo-Moorhead CVB)...gas prices are cutting into even the most basic of male urges. That's right, Nevada's Shady Ladies Ranch is experiencing slower than normal business since gas prices went intergalactic...and is now offering gas cards to increase business.

As Cole said, "they’re not going to take economic problems lying down."

Or, with gas cards....maybe they are.

You Can Fly United, but They'll Tell You When You Can Come Home

In the race among the legacy carriers to see who can annoy their customers most, United has regained the lead by requiring minimum night stays on virtually all of its domestic coach seats. For instance, on its Chicago-Minneapolis hop, United customers will be required to stay three nights before they can fly home.

No, I'm not kidding.

While they tried to explain the bizarre concept away by saying that it is designed to keep corporate travelers from snapping up all the cheap seats, almost all travelers have to come home some time. Does it really make any difference when? Will it really make the airline more profitable if I come home tomorrow instead of today?

I'm sure hoteliers everywhere (except those that fly) are tickled pink. But, for those of us that often must string three destinations back-to-back-back (or just need to get back to the office to, ummm, I dunno, work?)...United has just lost another subset of its customers.

Southwest Throws #$*!% Down!

We mentioned Southwest Airline's response to American's ham-handed first bag fee last week...but hadn't yet seen the ad they ran in the Wall Street Journal. Our friend Maura Gast of the Irving CVB forwarded this priceless throwdown (at left...click for larger view).

Perfectly Southwest.

But Everybody's Doing It

Just like every one of our Mothers said at least 32 times to each and every one of us in response to our plea of "But Everybody's Doing It," "If (name of a neighborhood 'good-kid' here) jumped off a bridge, would you?"

Just because American Airlines despises its customers, is that any reason for United and US Airways to do the same?

While the "good kid" in the neighborhood (Southwest) refuses to join in the insanity.

Now airport check-in is really gonna suck as an estimated 30% of us (and I believe more) will be swiping cards or fumbling with cash to pay for our first bag. Boarding is gonna suck more as most will violate Air Law 5 and try to carry footlocker-sized bags onboard.

And, to the recent TIA report that 100,000 of us are choosing EVERY DAY not to fly because the experience so sucks, deleting $26 billion from the economy last year....those numbers are only going to increase.

Southwest Capitalizes on American's Misstep

On the heels of American Airline's announcement that it will begin nicking its passengers for their first checked bag, Southwest Airlines plays contrarian (and smart) with new ads that read "Fees Don't Fly with Us" and "No Surprise Fees."

From a recent article in BrandWeek (and highlighted in Dave Ibsen's 5 Blogs Before Lunch), Southwest's Anne Murray says "We proudly provide what we think are basic elements of service."

Glad somebody is still thinking of the customer...

One More on American

Hey, I understand how hard it is to run an airline today. But that doesn't excuse the kind of thinking that ISN'T happening in the American Airlines war room. Their ham handed attempt to fleece a modest $15 per bag per flight will assuredly cause delays in boarding, consumers that will walk and a PR disaster.

But, hubris reigns supreme.

Hours after the announcement of the new first bag surcharge, I received my May edition of the American Airlines AAirmail. No mention of what has just been announced. Instead, I'm informed that "American Airlines is continuously working to improve your travel experience."

Apparently not.

It also announces new introductory fares to Central Wisconsin.

OK...I live a couple hours from that airport. My question is...did every subscriber in the nation get this offer, or just those of us in Wisconsin? And, if it is the latter, don'tcha think I'd rather drive than have you nickel and dime me again (not to mention go through the hassle of security and being stuffed into a plane that is configured for 30% more passengers than it should be?

More on American's Folly

Nothing kind can be found in the blogosphere this week regarding American Airlines' announcement that it will begin nickel and diming customers for even their first checked bag next month.

Gadling's Grant Martin took it even further by assessing a different kind of impact such a move will produce:

"Now, since nobody wants to pay an extra 15$, everyone is going to want to bring their luggage aboard, overhead compartments are going to jam up, people with giant luggage are going to clog up space and passengers are going to get testy.

Of course the new rule doesn't apply to elites, but as several people on the underground pointed out, it really affects everyone on the aircraft. If the overhead compartments are full and the flight spends an extra 15 minutes on the ground sorting out luggage issues and appeasing passengers, the entire plane is late, right?"

Dead on...and why we'll need aggressive enforcement of Air Law 5.

Image of duct taped overhead bins (which is what will be needed) from Andy's Blog.

AA to Charge for our FIRST Bag, Too

From the American Airlines website: "We are dedicated to making every flight you take with us something special."

Well done, Sparky. Your announcement yesterday that you will be charging for EVERY bag certainly qualifies. And, I bet your gate agents are just as excited as they await the shit-storm of abuse they'll be getting starting June 15th.

AA CEO Gerard J. Arpey said he expects the new fees will raise several hundred million dollars, but that was the best estimate he would give. Why? Cause you haven't thought this through? Cause you don't want somebody to challenge your math? Cause you think we're stupid enough to believe you?

He went on to say that the fees are "an effort to get customers to pay for services they want."

Or that they expect.

Of course, I expect this kind of business acumen from these guys. But what are you gonna do with all those pretty signs you printed in March. Or yeah, print corrective stickers to go over the "First Bag Free" message.

Sad.

Waiting for the World to Change

Waiting in an interminably long loop to talk to a real person about luggage that had been misrouted to another destination, I couldn't help but laugh when the on-hold music began to play John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change."

I laughed...'cause I know it never will.