Air Law 5

As promised in the posting of Air Law 4, it's time to address the size of carry-on luggage.

AIR LAW 5: No luggage may be brought aboard any airline if it requires the owner to use both hands to lift it. Duffle Bags longer than 2 feet are to be checked. And, no luggage may be brought on the flight by use of roller wheels and handle.

OK. I know that you're real important. Way more important than me...or anybody else on the flight. And you just can't be bothered by waiting for your luggage. You've got places to go and people to annoy. I totally understand that.

But your selfishness impacts other people. People that have little carry-ons but no place to put them because you've consumed the entire overhead space for two rows. The people who are standing in line behind you as you try to jam your oversized bag in a regional jet overhead. The people that you lean into and/or bop on the head as you give up and pull the bag back out.

And this rollerbag stuff. Please. I've never seen anybody (no matter how good at it) not clip at least one passenger as they nonchallantly drag their bag behind them. Enough. Your seat qualifies you for a finite amount of carry-on space. I'm not sure what the cubic square footage of that contract is...but we all know that you're over the limit.

As a friend of mine opined after Air Law 1 (no reclining), "I bought my ticket and I have a right to use it as it was designed...and that includes reclining." While he has a point, it would then follow that, because I buy a seat for the ballet, I have the right to pee down the leg of the person next to me.

Hey, I don't like waiting for my checked bags any more than you. But I do it because I care about those around me.

If you were half as important as you think you are, you'd be using Flylite.

And I'm more important than you.

So there. Air Law.

Comments

[Anony Mous]

Has this Air Law been revised with the inception of fees for the first checked bag? I refuse to pay to check a wheeled bag when its my only luggage!

[Bill Geist]

Hmmmm...interesting point.

However, upon further review, I think it stands (even though I hate the baggage fee as much as you do). This Air Law refers to the REALLY big shit people try to haul onboard that takes up way more room that they should be allotted.

I'm pretty sure that's not you.

And, if it is...well, the Air Law Marshals will be coming for you.

As soon as I hire a few ;)