Bill Geist's Zeitgeist

The Self-Absorbtion of Reclining

Years ago, we began issuing "Air Laws" in an attempt to draw attention to the self-absorbtion of some passengers on airlines. Our very first Air Law was directed at those that mindlessly jack their seats back, with no thought for the person behind them.

A post by thelkshow recently suggested a novel solution: "When you are on a flight and the person in front of you reclines their seat all the way and leaves you no room, turn on the air conditioner above you on full blast and point it at the top of their head."

Brilliant.

A-Holes

We'll study almost everything. And, the University of Georgia decided to study assholes.

One of the key defining asshole traits that researchers identified was that they don’t seem to care that their behavior was bothersome to others.

That's exactly why we issued our set of Air Laws (though, sadly, so few are enforced). 

If you've yet to check em out...they are here.

Assholes. Our bane. Our target.

Air Law 22

It's been almost 5 years since we revisited our Air Laws series (if you want to relive the first 21 Laws, click HERE and move forward through the rerun).

For the uninitiated, Air Laws was our (tongue firmly in cheek) attempt to bring back civility to air travel. And events of this past weekend have encouraged us to jump back into the fray and issue our next edict. Our friend, Berkeley Young, picks up the story:

"Two women running (and I mean running) through the airport. They are lugging massive Gucci and Louis Vouitton shopping bags. They stop just shy of the gate area and unfold walking canes! And then, they hobble up to the gate and tell the agent they need to board early because they are in need of assistance (code for “we need to fill the overhead bins with our massive shipping bags”). And, they each brought on four huge bags."

 

Our friend Amir Eylon authored the following Air Law (with our extreme gratitude):

Air Law 22: Any passengers caught faking challenges or disabilities in order to score pre-board status will have their bags checked to the carousel and be re-seated next to the lavatory with the broken door that does not latch properly, thus airing that special aroma in their general direction for the duration of the (hopefully) multi-hour flight.

Yep...as we get back to traveling and are forced to endure narcissists and clueless rookies, it's time to revive Air Laws.

Delta v. Problem Children

We love Delta.

Which is so weird...because when I started down this path of consulting Destination Marketing Organizations and hopping on planes almost every week, I loathed them. But something happened after they absorbed Northwest Airlines. The customer suddenly came first. Coincidence? I have no idea...but as a Northwest fan, I'd certainly like to think so.

Last month, Delta CEO Ed Bastian took a stand for civility:

“Please know that respect and civility to others on our planes, at our airports, in our workplaces and in our society — even when we have differences of opinion — have always been a requirement for our people and our customers. Those who refuse to display basic civility to our people or their fellow travelers are not welcome on Delta. Their actions will not be tolerated, and they will not have the privilege of flying our airline ever again.”

Oh, hell yeah.

Every other airline? I'm waiting.....

Pigs That Fly

The image to the left is from First Class, Row 1 on a Delta flight a few weeks ago (click image for the full effect).

My friend Amir Eylon often chronicles online the supremely uncouth practice of airline passengers doffing shoes and placing their stinkies on bulkheads and other seats for all to see and smell. But, this is something I've never seen.

A person in First Class (who, if they fly a lot, should have more respect for the flight attendants and crew that ensure his flight is perfect) shredding his newspaper and magazine and leaving it on the cabin floor for "the help" to pick-up.

As it is the first time I've witnessed such wanton disregard for an airline crew, I'll not issue an Air Law...yet.

But, can I get an "amen" that there is a special place in airline hell for such self-absorbed pigs?

 

Saying You're Sorry

I seriously don't know where most people learned (or, more appropriately, didn't learn) to drive. The times I'm almost sideswiped when a self-absorbed asshole merges into my lane on an interstate has increased tenfold. And, those drivers that juke in front of me to get into a different lane? It happens daily.

Not unlike Air Laws, there should be Road Laws. And, the Number One Road Law should be, if your move into another driver's lane causes that driver to touch their breaks, you shouldn't have made that move. Period.

Now, far be it for me to say I haven't, on occasion, been absent-mindedly guilty of this as well (it happens). And, because I feel so strongly about this "Road Law," I've wished I could say, "sorry, my bad." But, you just can't.

But, now you can. And, not through hand gestures.

A new KickStarter project called RoadWayve offers an LED message board to communicate with other drivers on the road. Sample messages include short phrases such as “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” “Turn off high beams,” “Let me merge,” “Go around me” and more. There is also a custom message option that is safely activated via voice control in the mobile app.

They've already tripled their KickStarter goal...so the concept seems to be resonating. If you want to get in on the ground-floor, click HERE.

Disclaimer: I have no experience with the company or the product. I just think it's a way cool idea.

 

Delta's Bold Experiment

Over a decade ago, we began issuing "Air Laws" (not unlike Miller Beer's "Man Law" series of commercials) in a (vain) attempt to bring civility back to air travel. The very first Air Law addressed the habit of some self-absorbed passengers to recline their seat without considering the person behind them.

Now, we've all seen the heated "Tastes Great / Less Filing" debates ("I paid for the right to recline," some sputter indignantly) both in print and in person. And, I'm not here to debate it again. But, Delta Airlines has just announced that it will be converting roughly 10% of its fleet to feature seats with half the recline. The reason for the test: "Ensuring an optimal experience." I feel oddly vindicated.

This should be interesting...

Airline Ground Transparency

Speaking of our Air Laws series, Air Law 15 was issued after a particularly heavy spate of bold face gate agent lies (mostly from United employees) regarding the status of delayed inbound aircraft.

So, imagine my surprise when it is United Airlines that recently announced they will provide total transparency on the reason behind flight delays, five minutes after they tell ground staff. They plan to test the new system in the weeks ahead in Houston and Phoenix before a potential nation-wide rollout.

If this all comes true...I'll be in an unusual space when I say, "well played, United."

An Air Law (starting to be) Enforced

Years ago, we initiated a series of blog posts we called "Air Laws" (in the Miller Beer "Man Laws" vein) to suggest a more graceful way of flying.

Out of the 21 Laws that were ultimately established, Air Law 1 is the most important. Reclining sucks.

So, it's cool to see that British Airways is ordering a bunch of planes with seats that don't.

It's a start! Finally!

Phones on a Plane

Didn't overwhelming consumer outrage shoot this concept down a couple years ago? So where is the drum beat to allow airline passengers to make calls during flight coming from?

The Department of Transportation is accepting public comment on its new recommendation that in-flight calls made through the plane's Wi-Fi be allowed. What's new this time around is that permitting self-absorbed assholes to call all of their friends from the air would only be allowed if airlines tell all customers about the policy when they buy their tickets. That way, customers could make other travel arrangements if they feared sitting next to passengers that would be chatting for hours on their phones.

Other travel arrangements...like what? For many of us, flight is the only option. If it wasn't, we wouldn't be flying in the first place, given the cattle-car mentality that is so rampant in the American airline industry.

"Today's proposal will ensure that air travelers are not unwillingly exposed to voice calls, as many of them are troubled over the idea of passengers talking on cell phones in flight," said Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx. 

Again, if "so many are troubled" by the idea, WTF is behind this new attempt to further anger already angry travelers?

It's bad enough that Air Law 14 is so flagrently ignored in the terminal...

Luckily, most of the domestic carriers are siding with their customers and saying that, even if in-flight phoning gets the green light, they won't allow it. 

Consumers don't want it. Airlines don't want it. Air Law 17 already dealt with it. I guess the folks in the Department of Transportation have nothing better to do with their time. Thus, they are obviously over staffed or poorly managed, because there are a ton of transportation issues facing this country that are significantly more important...and more likely to succeed.